Techno raves and techno rants

The man sitting next to me in the office told me that he sent me an e-mail containing the name of a file he needed. I bet him that if he told me the name, I could pull the file and have it in his hands before the e-mail got to me. I didn’t even need to rush, and now he owes me a bagel.

So it has now gotten to the point when it is easier to talk to someone but we still e-mail, call, fax or send BlackBerry messages to each other. All this technology was designed to streamline communications and provide independence, but all it seems to have done is complicate things and make us prisoners.

Even though the technology at my disposal should allow me to my job flawlessly from the bathtub, the Black Forest, my secret lover’s bedroom or wherever else I happen to be, I still work full-time hours in the office, with the added bonus of having a BlackBerry all the time so I can fully separate from work.

These circumstances would be possibly bearable if it weren’t for the fact that my co-workers and I spend a lot of our time addressing issues caused by these machines. I spent four hours reading how my BlackBerry works. Although e-mail, scanners and cell phones were all working (I know this because of the insufferable sounds and songs they emit), the office ground to a near halt because the fax was disconnected. I was waiting for people to regress to loincloths and clubs by the time I had addressed the problem.

Dr. Judith Orloff, addressing the issue of “techno-despair,” says we always have an option when machines make us frustrated: turn them off. Of course, I could get disciplinary action for doing so, but it is an option, especially when I dream of powering down my laptop by very gently pressing the “off” button with a lead pipe.

But there is yet hope. While I am putting out a fire caused by a co-worker’s tie getting too close to the laser printer roller and waiting for an e-mail of a fax saying the phones are down, I rest assured that my computer will quack when I get it.

It makes me proud to be an American.